Delight in Everything

My **BIG** News is....  I am an

The days have come and gone; last day of nursing school.  Graduation day.  National testing for my license.... all of it.  Each day I have woke up, decided that I should move ahead with my dreams to become a nurse and finally... My dreams are realized.

With my goal being met I find myself in an awkward transition.  I am waiting for the hiring of a position in my new career. Multiple interviews have occurred at more than one location and I am rehearsing the verbiage 'It is hard to get work these days.'  I feel like when I was applying for a job over a decade ago, I basically walked into the place I wanted to work at, filled out an application, interviewed and was hired within two weeks.  I don't feel that way now.  I know that God's Plan for me is to enjoy what little time I have left with the boys before returning to work full-time in health care.  I am SO blessed to have this opportunity and I am able to Delight in Everything.

Long naps. Snuggles with Boomer on the couch. Doing the dishes/showering whenever.  Reading books (oh, how I have missed you books)! Taking field trips for school with both boys and volunteering at their school events (because I CAN!), raking the beautiful maple leaves on a perfect autumn day.  Sipping a hot cup of coffee on my front step watching the world race about.  I know that my days are numbered as to how much more I can be able to enjoy; so I take great Delight.  My brother emailed me with a simple reminder that soon enough I will be pleading for a vacation date here or there, someone will always have a deadline or expectation of me and I will have major responsibilities (this time, someones life) in my hands.  I recognize those sentiments and thanked him for keeping me focused on what I am able to enjoy, right in front of me.

As I sit here 'waiting' I have had multiple thoughts and plans bubble up.  Such as finally having the time to paint the boys bedroom and make it absolutely AWESOME!   I want to have something awesome for them to relax and play in when they are home.  Not that material items are a big deal to me, but learning, curiosity and bright colors are always what I have had in mind for them as they grow into little boys.  I want them to have an understanding of dinosaurs, sports, astronomy, books, faith, music, creativity/artistry, and kindness as they grow. I want them to have a room in which they can invite their friends over and truly enjoy hanging out in. I have looked through some pictures and these got me the most motivated:

So, yeah,... if you can figure out a way to incorporate my boy's bedroom all into one with each of those ideas on a VERY small budget, let me know.  :-)

I have also been doing some soul searching.  I am a list writer and if you saw my nightstand right now you would see about 15 post-it's with lists, a spiral bound notebook with verses, lists and thoughts, a few faith-centered reads and an empty coffee mug.  I am actively seeking out new motivations and goals: I feel lost when I don't have something to aim for. Having just met one of the 'biggies' I am in need of a challenge. I want to live to the fullest and define my dreams for my family.

A couple of them I have already mentioned above, some are materialistic (lame), but some are so simple I almost don't want to write them down.  However; proof is in the pudding, this has worked for me before:

-Lead my little men to Him.
-Be ACTIVE, get healthy!
-House projects
-Laugh.  Smile.  Smile some more.
-Enjoy old and new friendships.
-Feed my soul
-Set an amazing example for the boys.
-Budget with Dave 

There are more of course, but I will save those for myself.  In the meantime, I will Delight in Everything.  -Psalm 37:4

Boys Will Be Boys, Regardless of Toys

Regardless of the amount of toys, my boys will be boys, and they have a hard time cleaning up after themselves.  As of late, it has been a battle to get them to move a muscle without the "Clean Up Song," or threatening an early trip upstairs for bedtime.   This momma has also been frustrated with the amount of small Lego's, puzzle pieces, flashcards, cars and 'Ninja gear' that the boys have been enamored with since winter.   I needed to put a stop to the chaos.  With supplies I already had in my home (due to buying things at a clearance price and storing them for a rainy day project), my agenda to get the boys motivated for picking up after themselves took shape. 

First I started with these $1.00 pencil cases that I scored from Office Max when before school sales were in full swing.

I got all matching flashcards or instruction books within their own pouches.  I had mentioned above that the boys play with small 24 piece puzzles quite a bit.  By the time they have the box opened the first time, it is destroyed so I simply cut out the cover of the puzzle box, put all puzzle pieces in the pouch and sealed the deal.   I was giddy!

Next game the major project I have been putting off for weeks:  Organizing the toy bins (echo, echo, echo......)!  Every single toy in the living room went through my hands.  It either went into the donation paper bag (within arms reach), the garbage pile or one of the toy bins that housed their favorites.  Any small toys or 'dinky' things that I knew they didn't play with any more weren't given a second thought; they would be donated.   My boys are abundantly blessed with toys and books, it is a good life lesson to show them what kindness in giving (and not asking for anything in return) can do for them.  My prayers are that they carry this into their grown-up lives.  

At the start of sorting, I categorized and proceeded to take a picture of the themes that were developing so they could be placed on the outside of the toy bins.

As soon as everything was in its new 'home,' we both got excited and HAD to play with the Potato Heads (they appeared happy).

After the pictures were taken, I edited quick in Picasa and proceeded to print.  I grabbed the clear packing tape and ended up with pure perfection.

A way for the boys to easily categorize and put things away.  Everything has it's own home!  The items that don't fit in the smaller toy bins were placed in the large clear  'toy bin' so they can easily see what they are looking for.  Jessie and Woody were happy to 'Round Up' all the toys.

Once all was said and done and crumbs were vacuumed off the living room floor, I went out to the kitchen to find my son playing with the laundry basket 'jail' --not wanting to give it up!   I just can't win!

Dream: Command Center COMPLETE!

As silly as it sounds, I have been dreaming about a 'Command Center' in my home since the first time I came across the idea on Pinterest, two years ago.  Throughout the last few weeks of getting both boys going in their school year, and I. trying to organize the completion of nursing school with acquisition of a new job, there have been a LOT of papers flying around this house!  Every day the boys come home there are about four or five pieces of information I need to digest, artwork to smile at, things to sign and dates of upcoming events that I can not ignore. Not to mention that backpacks are thrown about randomly in the house (drives me *#BONKERS#*)!

I am a relatively organized person and when I began to understand the volume of 'incoming' I knew I needed to address it all PRONTO!  I had four different areas of my house that were frequently visited by me or the boys on a daily basis and I wanted to have ONE location where it all came together.... Hence, the Command Center. 

This is what a regular week of papers looked like in my home after searching through it one or five times to find 'that one paper,' I knew had a date for the 'thing,' with the phone number on it....




I needed to find a system in which I could easily drop information and such (after I made a serious consideration to 'File 13' initially it or not).  I also wanted to have my regular incoming mail and receipts (I save them for two weeks usually and then shred).  As I had my incoming mail and receipts holder on my fridge, I also brought that into the Command Center.  Here is the simple filing system I developed for all three of us in the household; mine has 'Random, Upcoming and To-Be Filed. 

When I am on the phone with someone or am coordinating any of our schedules I need to be able to grab anything in regards to all three of us in a quick moment.  This is hopefully going to save me from looking totally dis-shelved during communications.  For those who do not know the joys of having a household split 50/50 with children, it is a balancing act between not only 'the ex' but the boy's friends, school/daycare/bus drivers, extra-curriculars, grandparents wanting to visit and special activities. 

As the boys have been getting older, I have asked more of them around the house.  Nathaniel is very happy as of late to help get Boomer his dog food on a regular basis.  Both of the boys like to race each other either getting dressed or getting into their PJ's.  I have figured out that the best way to encourage this is to have them participate in a 'chore chart.'  The boys love to grab their step-stool and pick out three goals for their week.  They like to fill up as many days as possible as they know they can score an allowance (50 cents) when they fill up their week on all days with mommy.  (If I give it all in pennies they think they are millionaires!)  So this chart needed to make it into the Command Center as it is addressed frequently.

 

There were many ideas I had to implement into this Command Center but the most important was to have space for jotting a quick note, my big planner calendar, a clock, a weekly menu (when I get a free second I review my Google Calendar with pre-set meals and throw them on the board; saves me hours of contemplating).  I wanted to have a drop-zone for the boys backpacks when they came home and a place that I would be able to address the paperwork right away.  So.... THIS is what came to fruition in a quick two hours.  I am a VERY happy momma tonight and may or may not have sat and stared at it for 30 minutes as one of my dreams came true!  

Before

After

July 1st??? How did that happen?!

With a crazy amount of disbelief that it is July 1st, I begin this post.  It has been quite a while since I have filled you in on the Hopes, Wishes and Dreams that are playing out on a daily basis.  Let me do my best to catch you up in a condensed version that won't bore you to pieces. 

The last six months have been focused 100% on getting through my nursing program.  I have learned a ton, know that this is the path I am destined for and can not be happier to say that I am ALMOST finished!  When working the other night in the ER, one of my co-workers asked how much longer I have until I graduate...."12 Weeks," was my response.  As soon as I said it, I took a quick inhale as I felt that there was no way that was all that was left.  I remember my mother saying to me at the beginning of last year, "This is just a snapshot of your life, Jacki.  It is temporary and it will be done before you know it."  I knew she would be correct in her assessment and at times I did need to remind myself of those statements to get me through the discouraging days.  More than anything I am excited to give all of that 100% focus back to my boys.  They SO deserve it!

Really???   Twelve weeks from now?  Are you sure?

Between working in the ER, tutoring students (as my second 'job'), completing seven courses and maintaining a 'B average' throughout, completing three clinical requirements for class, getting Carson to completion of speech therapy, going through the legal process to solidify 50/50 placement of the boys, maintaining the home and simply getting the laundry done on a weekly basis; I am quite exhausted.  Being able to complete all of this gives me incentive to push out these last 11 weeks of class and preceptor-ship as a student nurse and walk across that stage in confidence.  As I prepare for the NCLEX-RN, I fear not passing.  I know I have the knowledge necessary to pass, I simply need to focus, be positive in my answers and show the State that I know what I am doing and I will have the minimum competency standards to prevent harm to any of my patients.   

The boys are growing so fast!  Nathaniel is currently in summer school and will be starting Kindergarten in the fall.  He is interested in baseball in the backyard, riding his bike down the sidewalk (still has training wheels), writing out letters in his name and catching some 'big whoppers' whenever he can. 

Carson has transformed into a "Skylander Loving" boy (I still don't understand what they are all about).  He enjoys playing with anything with wheels (still), loves dumping out ALL the Lego pieces onto the living room floor and leaving them.  He has also become a very good buddy to Boomer (our dog).  He is affectionate and very silly and will for certain be the social butterfly of our home. 

I love both of them so much!  The weather has improved to the point where we can go to the park almost every night when they are home with me.  Most recently we have gotten an ice cream cone and driven through the zoo in the evening hours, which they both enjoy very much. 

My Hopes:  I hope to coast through this last quarter of school with confidence, while still building my knowledge and skills for my graduation goal.

My Wishes:  The boys and I can enjoy these beautiful summer months and remain healthy throughout.

My Dreams:  Walk across that stage in 12 weeks to receive my Associate Degree in Nursing.  To pass the NCLEX-RN on my first attempt.  Acquire a full-time nursing position locally within two months of graduation.  My focus will be building a life for me and the boys that give them the opportunities to travel, learn in knowledge and God, and to guide them in becoming kind, polite and well-mannered, compassionate little men who have no qualms in reaching out to others who need a helping hand. 

Happy New Year

A new year.  A new day. 

Nursing school resumes full-time in three days.  We had homework over our winter break.  HOMEWORK!  Who does that?! 

The holidays were amazing and fantastic.  The house is de-Christma-fied.  The boys had SO much fun looking for Elf on the Shelf this year, opening presents and listening to all the great Christmas stories and movies.

We are currently in one of the coldest of cold snaps to hit the Midwest in a couple decades.  NOT loving it.  I despise cold.  Why do I live in Wisconsin?  Because my family and friends are here and I would take a few weeks of whining about the cold rather than living in an earthquake, hurricane, Nor'easter, tornado zone. 

I got another job as a tutor at my college.  That should be thrilling along with the 17 credits this quarter.  Only 80 days until I am through the other side.  I am pretty nervous about this one coming up.  SIX girls I believe have to retake the Clinical Rotation site that we are going to! That means they didn't PASS! (And they don't have that big of a class).  We shall see.  I just have to make it through one day at a time. 

Finished reading "The Book Thief," this morning.  I highly recommend it.  I read three novels over my break.  Feeling very relaxed.  I now realize why I enjoy going into those 'worlds.'  It just makes reality seem so much more 'light.'   Wanting to get motivated to workout (30 minutes a day of walking would be enough at this juncture)...  But I just am unable to muster up the gumption. Time will open up in the next 365 for me... I pray.  I hope to focus MUCH MORE on my physical and mental health wellness once I pass nursing school and am shooting for a passing N-CLEX!    Catch ya on the flip side!

Christmas Through the Years

Babble to Avoid Books

When I saw this picture, I had to chuckle.  This is EXACTLY how I feel today!  AND...I have most of those books in front of her and know how incredibly intimidating 'the pile' is to the right of this computer.  It IS that tall (but not nearly as colorful).

I started my next quarter and I am SO overwhelmed at the moment, that I am somewhat paralyzed.  There are small victories and little joys in regards to school (I got a passing grade on my first Med-Surg Exam).  Yet, I find myself slipping into a very uncomfortable feeling.  I could compare it to an elephant sitting on my back, the fur (if I had any) on my back being rubbed the wrong way, or having the feeling that something isn't quite finished,....EVER.  I go to bed with this feeling and wake up with the feeling.  I believe that part of nursing school is learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  There is SO much material (there is no possible way any human being could read this in the amount of time we have assigned and be able to complete all of our other assignments and study for exams).  It's just not a realistic goal to have ALL of my homework done.  I now know that I can only do so much before I am beating my head against the wall.  Today was the day when I finally came to grips with how I will study for my courses this quarter.  I believe that my first exam(s) today gave me the idea of how to study from this point forward.  I feel much more at peace in knowing that I can accomplish the things required of me and then 'go back over' information after the fact.  I have MANY friends who are nurses, and I am in awe of them right now.  I believe it is somewhat of a right of passage to have this much stress on your shoulders on a nursing school.  I don't want to be one of those students that 'drops' because of the pressure. I am going to plow through this.  My dyshidrotic eczema on my hands is flaring yesterday and today because the stress is physiological in me.  I understand I don't handle stress well but knowing what I CAN manage will make all the difference as I move forward in this quarter.  Most of my classmates are feeling similar in regards to overwhelming study requests...I am so thankful I am not alone in this.

My desk area upstairs is just perfect to get my homework and ATI Modules completed.  I spend a minimum of six hours each day up here.  If I had to run around the house and sit in uncomfortable places and not have enough light or paper or things nearby, it would just add to the stress level.    The roof on my house is currently being replaced as well.  The chimney came down this evening and there are currently about 150 broken up and chiseled bricks in the middle of my backyard...they will be making a trip to the dump tomorrow.   My parents are being wonderful in helping me out with picking up and dropping boys when I have my clinicals currently.  I couldn't do this without them.  Having them here once a week is also SO wonderful so I can vent and share some of this misery.    Most importantly, they are my cheerleaders and I couldn't be doing this without them. Having my laundry done and some meals made and providing help with the boys bedtime routine is incredibly invaluable when it's 'just me.'  I am blessed.  When looking at some of my classmates, I wonder how they are juggling it all.  Some of them just had a new baby, some drive from 2+ hours away!  Some don't have any prior medical knowledge.  In those situations, I know I would personally crack under the pressure.  My world is currently chaos, but I hope it simmers down eight weeks from now.

Good news:  I made the Honor's List for the summer quarter!

Many Things

So much has happened over the last few weeks in regards to 'moving forward.'

Not only have I secured a job in the Emergency Room at the hospital, resigned from my current position in Dermatology.  But I have started an online College Algebra course (which is not easy, I may add).  I am almost completed with my three scheduled courses for Quarter 1.  I resigned from one college and plan to start the same course at the college I am currently attending (so everything will be simplified and schedules will not conflict).  My Nathaniel started Pre-Kindergarten (and he is doing awesome) and Carson has started speech therapy for improvement on his 'S's" and "other letter enunciation's." 

I have had a heck of a migraine for the past two days so I have been out of commission and feel like I am falling behind on schoolwork; even though I am still pretty well ahead, but it's 'behind' for me. I am planning on getting my roof worked on in the next two months.  Digging deep into the pockets for that one is not a comfortable feeling for me as I don't have much of a cushion to begin with.  However, I fear that if I don't get the roof done prior to this winter, spring cleaning may come a little sooner than expected in my attic; and I really don't/won't have time for that.  I am totally overwhelmed at the prospect of having 21 credits in just a few weeks.  With the help of my parents, I know that everything will turn out fine, but the reality of it coming up just terrifies me.  There will be no spare time for much.   21 credits equals 63 hours of just studying and then taking into account that I will be travelling 2 hours every day.  Working during that week and also being in classes for 23 hours of the week...and somehow in there find time for housework, loving my babies and sleep.   Good times.   It will nonetheless be a stressful quarter.   Anyone up for a party on December 20th??!    See ya then!

Does Somebody Have a Case of the Mondays?

My simple answer to the question is, "No.  I don't have time to have a 'case of the Mondays."  I am too darn busy to even know what day it is lately!  The past few weeks I have been rolling with the flow as far as homework goes and squeaking by with homework on the weekends in which the boys are home with me.  The weekends they are elsewhere I can give it 110% and plow through a lot of the next weeks readings ahead of time (which will save my toosh in the future, I am sure). I really enjoy the feeling I get when completing things ahead of time.  I do feel as though I am being successful in getting schoolwork accomplished and I am giving about 96% effort into each assignment, but there is still that small percentage that makes me doubt if I am giving it everything I've got.   Maybe it's the simple fact that every few months, I am transitioning (by life transitions) with life experiences.  Over the last year SO much has happened as far as getting my 'next step' moving forward. The boys switched back to their old daycare. I became a CNA.  I have already completed nine college level courses within the last eight months (all A's; thank you very much!), got accepted into nursing school, started the nursing program, I have two more classes I am starting in the next two weeks in addition to the three I am already in. And I have three more classes which I am starting the beginning of October (while the other three courses wrap up).  It's chaos.  Organized chaos.  I ask myself some days if I am on the verge of 'burnout.'  How could I be, I ask myself?  I just started!  To ground myself I recognize that I knew that it would be like this.  That chaos would indeed come my way.  That I could no longer focus on friends, house and relationships 110%. It's knowing that this 'snapshot' of my life will be quick. (as one of my instructors states).  I have to remember my main goal in becoming a nurse.

1)  I know I will be an excellent nurse and I am eager to get on 'the floor' and begin showing patients and families the compassion of nursing.

2) Showing my boys that it is never too late to chase a dream.  They will watch it become reality for me.  They may not understand it at their current ages, but as they grow into men, I pray that they will understand the value of education.

3) Providing for my boys and myself and to care for myself in a way I could never before, with confidence.

4)  Teaching my boys how to be a caregiver and portray kindness is key in life. 

I look forward to what the next couple of weeks will be dealing out for me.  I know it will be another challenge that I will undertake.  I do know that as I move forward in school, nothing will be as stressful as two years ago was for me; and for that, I will succeed many times over in this endeavor.

In two days I will have made it through to the halfway point of my 'first' quarter.  It has been amazing thus far.  LOTS of assignments and new expectations for assignments (APA Format--errrr! Discussion Board Posting etiquette and even learning how to change a Power Point).   Quite the ride!  I have met a whole lot of other ladies (and two gents) who are making my classes fun and worthwhile. I finished Sociology-- and got an "A" in that!  :-)

I am dedicated to getting more slim and fit as well as eating better.  So far in the past eight days I have lost eight pounds.  Pretty good if you ask me.   A lot has actually been going on around here in regards to beautifying the house, but I am too tired to talk about it now.  I hope to be back on here sooner than later to fill you in.  Peace out!