Monday, July 16, 2012

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Consumed by Life

Hello Friends

The past eight weeks or so have been consuming.  Day to day 'normal' activities still continue (laundry, dishes, getting sand out of the kid's hair after daycare, send birthday cards to friends, attend church, walks and visits to the park) as does getting comfortable in our new home and neighborhood !    We are SO blessed.  I'm happy with my decision to purchase the home.  The boys are starting to relax more and more each day and I see the multiple benefits of the move that are indescribable unless you have been in my shoes within the last year.

I am happy.

Motivation is starting to bubble up and I am more focused on my health now than I have been in about... 10 years.   I'm eating WELL. Moving more.   Drinking less caffeine (only one cup of coffee in the AM --instead of 6).  I am feeling well!    I feel like I'm falling back into my social self rather than the introverted hermit who consumed my winter. (I don't like winter in Wisconsin--Yep, I am one of 'those' people.)  Maybe if someone could show me how to enjoy a winter in Wisco I may feel different.  I like to send correspondence to friends/family through snail mail and email and I am very random about 'Thinking of you' emails and I catch myself wanting to do that more and more; so I'm listening to the true Jacki once again.  The boys and I are getting out more and it feels great.  And.  The scary thing I will confess in bold honesty; I am noticing MEN again.  For about 9 months I could have cared less if ANY existed.  Now the smell of a cologne, the sound of a man clearing his throat, a truck going down the street...... Make my head snap.  As much as I do not need this right now-- I am proud of myself for not giving up on the male species because of one guy of the  6,894,594,844 people didn't make my idea of lifelong happiness, respect and trust come true.   I even smiled at 'one' the other day for Christ's sake !!  (Progress, people!)  :-)  

Back to what's going on.   So here's the last few weeks in pix. 

Falling into the new routine.

Checking out the pontoon up nort'.

June 8, 2012
ALL of us were together for one afternoon, evening and  morning   it was the greatest 18 hours of my life in a while.  The coolest part about it was that it was the day I 'closed' on my home.   I got back from the bank and we all converged on my new address.  We all hopped out of the cars and I gave a tour and we went to the backyard and cracked open a bottle of champagne to christen the property-the whole time both my boys were whaling and sobbing because it was passed their nap time and they were starving.    Overall, I will NEVER forget that memory of my family blessing my home on its first day under my ownership.  I love them all so much and it was a wonderful coincidence we were all there.

Fun times at the cabin.

"Motor Boatin' on the PONTOON!"

Hanging out front.

Dirty as a little boy should be after playing in his new backyard.

Paradise:  For me. 

"Look Mama!  We're in a boat!"

We went to three parades so far this summer. 

I attended my first wedding after the divorce.  Surprisingly, I did awesome!

The 45 year-old tree in the front yard was removed.

We had a full week of temperatures in the high 90's early 100's. 

Play time. 

The Loves of My Life.

Time rolls on and new experiences happen for me and the boys each day.  Not sure how active I will be on Hopes, Wishes & Dreams throughout the rest of the summer-- I can't believe I haven't posted significantly in two months!   So, if I don't talk to you until fall.... Have a safe and great rest of the warm days!! !

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Two Months Later....?

Can. Not. BELIEVE it has been almost two months since I posted.  Life has certainly been in fast-forward the past few weeks.  I have a LOT on my mind but the most consuming right now is the fact that:

As a Certified Medical Assistant I see a lot of the emotions that are being released once the doctor leaves the room and I return back in to close out the office visit.  It breaks my heart when I know I have to go back in there after I know something awful was just said to my friends.  MY FRIENDS.... MY FAMILY! These people become SO close to us because they are so closely monitored.  We talk to them and see them almost every week because of lab work-- we KNOW these people and they know us!

I don't know. Lately, I feel like "Our Practice" is so sad.  Maybe it's just my emotions catching up with me after this chaotic year and I am more sensitive and empathetic than I normally am,... but I truly just want to create a miracle for each and every family.  I don't have the education to help these people more than I currently am.  I know I am giving them all, but I want to give them SO much more! I feel like the patients are getting younger and younger-- or maybe I am just getting older and older???!

Please understand friends, that Cancer is not always 'sad.'   There are WONDERFUL and therapeutic days when I am working and for those, I am thankful.  I want to take the energy I get on those days and carry it through the hard days. I LOVE my career and just pray for myself, and my PATIENTS/FAMILIES can get through these battles faced with each day.  I hope that you pray for them as well.  Please take a moment; stop reading this and pray.  NOW.  Please pray that the physicians use their knowledge and expertise the best way they know how and are capable of.  Pray for all of my co-workers in the department;  for the stressful and plentiful phone calls coming through the gals at the front desk, to the nurses giving the medications and radiation to our sweet, sweet patients. For the co-worker sitting in her office fighting for the rights of the patient to get their CT scan covered by their insurance company because the insurance company doesn't think it's necessary.  For the pharmacy tech mixing and measuring the precise amounts of chemotherapy to get it at the correct formula for the patient's diagnosis.  For the phlebotomist drawing the lab-- that they do it with accuracy and have no contamination to the site.  To the radiologist reading the scans and making sure they identify all the necessary organs and answer all questions with accuracy.   

The amount of patients and their families I have met are uncountable in my measely nine years of employment at The Clinic, but the impact THEY have made on my heart and mind forever, overwhelms me. 

The patients trust US to care for them.  What a privilege.  What a gift we are being given! I shouldn't whine about my place in the world. I know there are many out there right now who are not in the workforce and are very frustrated.  Please understand; I pray for you too!  

Praying for peace. In whatever format it can come in to our practice at work.   

Thank you for the venting session.