Christmas Through the Years

Babble to Avoid Books

When I saw this picture, I had to chuckle.  This is EXACTLY how I feel today!  AND...I have most of those books in front of her and know how incredibly intimidating 'the pile' is to the right of this computer.  It IS that tall (but not nearly as colorful).

I started my next quarter and I am SO overwhelmed at the moment, that I am somewhat paralyzed.  There are small victories and little joys in regards to school (I got a passing grade on my first Med-Surg Exam).  Yet, I find myself slipping into a very uncomfortable feeling.  I could compare it to an elephant sitting on my back, the fur (if I had any) on my back being rubbed the wrong way, or having the feeling that something isn't quite finished,....EVER.  I go to bed with this feeling and wake up with the feeling.  I believe that part of nursing school is learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  There is SO much material (there is no possible way any human being could read this in the amount of time we have assigned and be able to complete all of our other assignments and study for exams).  It's just not a realistic goal to have ALL of my homework done.  I now know that I can only do so much before I am beating my head against the wall.  Today was the day when I finally came to grips with how I will study for my courses this quarter.  I believe that my first exam(s) today gave me the idea of how to study from this point forward.  I feel much more at peace in knowing that I can accomplish the things required of me and then 'go back over' information after the fact.  I have MANY friends who are nurses, and I am in awe of them right now.  I believe it is somewhat of a right of passage to have this much stress on your shoulders on a nursing school.  I don't want to be one of those students that 'drops' because of the pressure. I am going to plow through this.  My dyshidrotic eczema on my hands is flaring yesterday and today because the stress is physiological in me.  I understand I don't handle stress well but knowing what I CAN manage will make all the difference as I move forward in this quarter.  Most of my classmates are feeling similar in regards to overwhelming study requests...I am so thankful I am not alone in this.

My desk area upstairs is just perfect to get my homework and ATI Modules completed.  I spend a minimum of six hours each day up here.  If I had to run around the house and sit in uncomfortable places and not have enough light or paper or things nearby, it would just add to the stress level.    The roof on my house is currently being replaced as well.  The chimney came down this evening and there are currently about 150 broken up and chiseled bricks in the middle of my backyard...they will be making a trip to the dump tomorrow.   My parents are being wonderful in helping me out with picking up and dropping boys when I have my clinicals currently.  I couldn't do this without them.  Having them here once a week is also SO wonderful so I can vent and share some of this misery.    Most importantly, they are my cheerleaders and I couldn't be doing this without them. Having my laundry done and some meals made and providing help with the boys bedtime routine is incredibly invaluable when it's 'just me.'  I am blessed.  When looking at some of my classmates, I wonder how they are juggling it all.  Some of them just had a new baby, some drive from 2+ hours away!  Some don't have any prior medical knowledge.  In those situations, I know I would personally crack under the pressure.  My world is currently chaos, but I hope it simmers down eight weeks from now.

Good news:  I made the Honor's List for the summer quarter!

Many Things

So much has happened over the last few weeks in regards to 'moving forward.'

Not only have I secured a job in the Emergency Room at the hospital, resigned from my current position in Dermatology.  But I have started an online College Algebra course (which is not easy, I may add).  I am almost completed with my three scheduled courses for Quarter 1.  I resigned from one college and plan to start the same course at the college I am currently attending (so everything will be simplified and schedules will not conflict).  My Nathaniel started Pre-Kindergarten (and he is doing awesome) and Carson has started speech therapy for improvement on his 'S's" and "other letter enunciation's." 

I have had a heck of a migraine for the past two days so I have been out of commission and feel like I am falling behind on schoolwork; even though I am still pretty well ahead, but it's 'behind' for me. I am planning on getting my roof worked on in the next two months.  Digging deep into the pockets for that one is not a comfortable feeling for me as I don't have much of a cushion to begin with.  However, I fear that if I don't get the roof done prior to this winter, spring cleaning may come a little sooner than expected in my attic; and I really don't/won't have time for that.  I am totally overwhelmed at the prospect of having 21 credits in just a few weeks.  With the help of my parents, I know that everything will turn out fine, but the reality of it coming up just terrifies me.  There will be no spare time for much.   21 credits equals 63 hours of just studying and then taking into account that I will be travelling 2 hours every day.  Working during that week and also being in classes for 23 hours of the week...and somehow in there find time for housework, loving my babies and sleep.   Good times.   It will nonetheless be a stressful quarter.   Anyone up for a party on December 20th??!    See ya then!

Does Somebody Have a Case of the Mondays?

My simple answer to the question is, "No.  I don't have time to have a 'case of the Mondays."  I am too darn busy to even know what day it is lately!  The past few weeks I have been rolling with the flow as far as homework goes and squeaking by with homework on the weekends in which the boys are home with me.  The weekends they are elsewhere I can give it 110% and plow through a lot of the next weeks readings ahead of time (which will save my toosh in the future, I am sure). I really enjoy the feeling I get when completing things ahead of time.  I do feel as though I am being successful in getting schoolwork accomplished and I am giving about 96% effort into each assignment, but there is still that small percentage that makes me doubt if I am giving it everything I've got.   Maybe it's the simple fact that every few months, I am transitioning (by life transitions) with life experiences.  Over the last year SO much has happened as far as getting my 'next step' moving forward. The boys switched back to their old daycare. I became a CNA.  I have already completed nine college level courses within the last eight months (all A's; thank you very much!), got accepted into nursing school, started the nursing program, I have two more classes I am starting in the next two weeks in addition to the three I am already in. And I have three more classes which I am starting the beginning of October (while the other three courses wrap up).  It's chaos.  Organized chaos.  I ask myself some days if I am on the verge of 'burnout.'  How could I be, I ask myself?  I just started!  To ground myself I recognize that I knew that it would be like this.  That chaos would indeed come my way.  That I could no longer focus on friends, house and relationships 110%. It's knowing that this 'snapshot' of my life will be quick. (as one of my instructors states).  I have to remember my main goal in becoming a nurse.

1)  I know I will be an excellent nurse and I am eager to get on 'the floor' and begin showing patients and families the compassion of nursing.

2) Showing my boys that it is never too late to chase a dream.  They will watch it become reality for me.  They may not understand it at their current ages, but as they grow into men, I pray that they will understand the value of education.

3) Providing for my boys and myself and to care for myself in a way I could never before, with confidence.

4)  Teaching my boys how to be a caregiver and portray kindness is key in life. 

I look forward to what the next couple of weeks will be dealing out for me.  I know it will be another challenge that I will undertake.  I do know that as I move forward in school, nothing will be as stressful as two years ago was for me; and for that, I will succeed many times over in this endeavor.

In two days I will have made it through to the halfway point of my 'first' quarter.  It has been amazing thus far.  LOTS of assignments and new expectations for assignments (APA Format--errrr! Discussion Board Posting etiquette and even learning how to change a Power Point).   Quite the ride!  I have met a whole lot of other ladies (and two gents) who are making my classes fun and worthwhile. I finished Sociology-- and got an "A" in that!  :-)

I am dedicated to getting more slim and fit as well as eating better.  So far in the past eight days I have lost eight pounds.  Pretty good if you ask me.   A lot has actually been going on around here in regards to beautifying the house, but I am too tired to talk about it now.  I hope to be back on here sooner than later to fill you in.  Peace out!

I'm Old(er)

An excellent day for reflection:  Birthdays.  I love birthdays, especially my own.  I usually make a huge deal of it; take off from work, go out to eat, buy myself a couple things to make me smile....  the basics.   Today, I maintained the routine; ate my bowl of Cheerios, went to work, came home and played with the kids, did some homework and to just recently, farted around on the Internet until I realized I need to update my B-L-O-G.

Summer Quarter for Rasmussen College began a little over a week ago.  As a brand new student to the school I have to gush about how impressed I am with all of the counselors, advisers, instructors and program managers at this point.  Through the entire admission process there they have been nothing but cordial, proactive and encouraging in getting all of my pre-program checklist catered to.  In the last week I have had quite the steep learning curve with having to adjust to APA Formatting of papers, how to navigate the online courses (SO different than Midstate Technical College), and get to know a few of the ladies (and two gentlemen) who are in my courses.  Coinciding with these courses I am still schooling with one course through Midstate.  That class will be complete in two weeks when I then get a one week break and then jump right back in at MSTC with an advanced course (that I already had the book for, and it's local, so I decided to stay right in town for that one).  A little stressful for all concerned (oh yeah, that's just me) but worth the confusion.  Come December (20th, to be exact) I will be done with the chaos and will be able to dedicate all of my energies just at Rasmussen.  Like I said, these folks over there are just priceless.  So priceless in fact, that I took the program manager (who has been 'hand-holding' me since April) flowers last week.  She was an amazing resource and informant through my starting date.  My goal is to be done with school by December 2014. I am already pooped out from papers and the idea of papers as I read through each syllabus and schedule for each course and my brain is just spinning from all the information I do not yet understand and will soon have to apply in order to pass the courses.  I know I will do fine, I just want to muddle through these next few months and feel like I accomplished something.   One of the most wonderful things they showed the new nursing students at orientation was a graduation video from the college.  I could 'see' myself with that cap, tassel and gown and that ADN in my hands.  I can't wait!  Don't get me started on the N-CLEX Exam; that is one thing I am not excited about.

Two AWESOME things happened on this wonderful day in history. Today Nathaniel sang me the ABC's and Carson ASKED to use the potty at dinner time and actually did it!  I was SO impressed with both boys. 

Speaking of cute:  I plan to be it, once again.  It's no joke, since I got married (and since I got preggo with N) I have totally not focused on my body or the shape it's getting into.  Think:  Oompa Loompa with longer legs.  Motivation has been lacking, but in knowing that I will have some time during the schooling process to take a walk here and there between classes or just being able to focus a little more on my routine because I HAVE to. I whine and whine about my image and energy level that is lacking and I never do anything about it.  It's time.   It's time to get my butt in shape and stop using excuses.  I have two beautiful little boys that I want to have energy to play with.  I have one son who asked very innocently the other day, "Momma?  Why is your tummy so big?"    UGH.   That was awful.  I joked it off with him but inside was just crumbling emotionally and beating myself up for letting myself 'go' that much.  What the heck is my problem?  I know I have been through a lot in the last few years, but there is always 'life' happening and it's my job to learn how to roll with it and still be healthy at the same time.  I want to be around for a long time to see my little babies grow into 20-somethings and get married and go to school themselves and start a career and begin a family (or whatever path their life may take).  I want to show them how to be healthy; not a bump on a log who is so addicted to sugar that she can't go a day without a diet soda (fake sugar) and/or some processed candy or frozen sweet treat.  YUCK!   I want to take them for bike rides, show them how to play kickball and throw Frisbees, battle badmitton and ice skate!   Today I googled "Motivation for a healthy lifestyle" or something of the like and I got my mental energy amped up for making 'it' happen.  No more sloppy stretchy pants.  No more sweets on a daily basis (Gosh, that's gonna suck).  No more sitting still when I know I could be doing a Wii Just Dance or some Turbo Jam--which I love doing.  I miss dancing.  I want to feel and look healthy.  So be it.  I will be a nurse AND cute...sooner, rather than later!

I'm going to be a Registered Nurse.

The journey begins (continues) today.



Wonderful Day

     I'm afraid this is the type of situation I was in this morning when I woke up to a lightening bolt having a direct hit on the transmission box on the pole connected to my house.  The "BOOM!" was intense and terrified the boys right out of their beds.  Chaos ensued for about 10 minutes and I got the boys to daycare as soon as I could.  I had to get dressed in the 'dark' as the outside was pouring rain and the skies the darkest they had been in a long while.   My basement was leaking more water than it has in the past and I had to figure out what to do to keep everything 'at bay' while the power was out.  It took two hours for them to get the power back on in our community; which I was thankful for as I just went grocery shopping and purchased a whole month's worth of groceries.  More wet-vacuuming scheduled for when I get home today.

Becoming Real

     The past few weeks have been a blur.  Most importantly, I am going to be going to school for Nursing, starting VERY soon!  It will be challenging, but well worth all the hard work.  Last week I went over to the college to have an interview with the Dean of Nursing and as I was waiting in the library others (in nursing uniforms) were sitting a few tables away from me talking about IV's, tube placement, bowel sounds and dosages of medications and how to verify the "Seven Rights of Administration."  I got so jazzed up listening to them, I wanted to get started right then and there.  I know soon enough I will be complaining about the hard research assignments and case studies, so I will hold my tongue for now, it will be here soon enough.  Tomorrow my intentions after work are to drive over there and to test out of medical terminology and introduction to human biology.  I hope to do so as eight credits in on the line (24 hours extra studying per week-for classes I have already taken YEARS ago).  I hope I can apply all of my previous knowledge and of course the most recent information I learned in Anatomy and Physiology.  I should have my final schedule next week.  Getting the acceptance letter to the program in the mail yesterday was the highlight of my year so far.  After the last chaotic six months and all the hard work and everything I have been through up to receiving that letter finally made me feel as though I was accomplishing something great!  I pray that I can get through school without myself or the boys having any major health issues or any thing going wrong in the general 'flow' of day-to-day living.  I have been in another online course, introduction to sociology the last three weeks.  With the course being accelerated due to it being summer and only eight weeks long, there is a push to complete a lot of assignments quickly.  I ask my instructor to release the learning plans ahead of time for me so that I can get a jump on them for when the boys are gone and I have a few extra hours.   I want to have a good portion of the work complete prior to the core nursing courses starting.  Pray that the next few weeks are calm for me and the boys,  I need to stay focused on getting started and establishing 'routine' as much as possible, as soon as possible for the boys and I.  

"Party On Wayne,.... " "Party On Garth,.... Jssschyaa!"

Straight A's!!

Spring Semester 2013 Report Card

General Anatomy & Physiology                             A

Introduction to Psychology                                     A

Developmental Psychology                                    A-

That's right....  I got the brains!!!   :-)   Can't believe I did that well considering the stress of 'life' during the semester.  SO many people to thank and be grateful in return to.  Amazed at my blessings and gifts I receive each day.  I love you all who support this chaotic life I call my own.  



Eye see U

I'm old.

I need eyeglasses.

Got fitted and ordered yesterday.

Hmmmph.

Who's Counting?

Three more weeks and I will be done with the Spring Semester of classes!!   So happy!

In eight days N turns FOUR years old.

Carson had a speech pathology appointment yesterday and is six months 'behind' in speech and articulation.

If Boomer kicks me one more time during the night with his sharp toenails, that dog will learn how to fly through the room. 

Two inches of snow received on this last Saturday.  Really?   REALLY?!?!!   It's practically MAY!

Over $352.00 spent on an eight year old mini-van this morning... fairly certain I vomited in my mouth just a little when the bill was read to me. 

Making the Grade

Currently enrolled in the three courses and doing well in all of them, (A's) (that's about as pompous as I get).  In order to get my foot in the door for Nursing School as soon as humanly possible, I have a few hurdles to jump.  Nothing major, but there are some tests required and coursework to be accomplished.

Not only do I need to complete the Developmental Psychology Course in order to be accepted completely into the program, yet now I have to finish a Thinking Critically and Creatively Course.  I only need that course for the second school I am trying to be accepted through.  It may be an extra course that I don't 'need' right away, but I am certain it will help me in the nursing profession, regardless.  I was a little bummed out when I heard that I had to take that course AND Introduction to Sociology, but so be it.  I will do what I have to do.    Also, in attempt to get into the second school I need to complete an updated Accuplacer Exam.   It's basically a test to gauge a person's knowledge prior to being accepted in a program.  Well, I am uncertain if they are aware or not, but I have been enrolled and completed THREE technical college programs over the last 12 years.... I think I am good.  BUT.....  as before, I will do what I have to do. 

In the summer I will be finishing that course and most likely tackling Intro to Sociology as well so I can just get it over with.  At the end of summer I will be two courses away from being done with all pre-nursing courses. Advanced Anatomy & Physiology and Microbiology are going to be attempted.   If I don't get into a (ANY) Nursing Program in January 2014, I will simply be taking any courses that I can to aid in the program of any school so I have less credits when I am completely enrolled and starting my program.  

I am applying at two schools because one  of the schools is more willing to accept interested students once they have done the pre-course work as well as completing a competitive HESI Exam.  I am nervous to take that exam because any student that wants to start the following semester can test and be accepted; yet they don't know how many students will show up for the exam.  I hope I do well so I can have my schooling for becoming a nurse be official. That exam takes place in the fall of this year after I complete a petition to enroll and test.   If I get into the program, when completed with that semester I will transfer to the school more close to home.   We shall see.   Just some more hoops to hop through... but I'm doing it with a smile on my face. 

Ya Live, Ya Learn

It's been almost a month since the last post and my how much I have learned, processed and participated in since then.  The long and the short of it:

I added another class onto my credit load for this semester.  I am currently taking Intro to Psychology (online), Anatomy & Physiology and the latest, Developmental Psychology (online).  I may be crazy, but I am working towards my goal.   At the end of last month I took into consideration all the course combinations I could be taking and what would be challenging/easiest with my full time job and the boys and my home life.  I decided that if I were doing two courses, I may as well be doing three as it will simply take a bit of the stress off when I am in the core nursing program.  I also applied at another school for nursing so that I am increasing my chances of getting in sooner than the fall of 2014.   My goal now is to get into nursing school the Spring of 2014.  IF I don't get in then, I will simply have a semester (plus the summer) to take some more courses prior to the core program to help alleviate stressors within the program.  I will take whatever I can get to get moving ahead towards my goal of having "RN" after my name.  That's all I can write for now, I have to get back to studying.

Knowledge

I'm two weeks into the semester and thus far I have learned about bonds (covalent, non-polar covalent, ionic and hydrogen), major chemistry's of the human body and the specifics on each.  I have learned about APA format for paper writing.  I have learned the definitions of structuralism and functionalism and how it pertains to psychology.   I am learning what methods of study are best for me and how much I can handle when under stress.   I have also learned a few new skills and techniques at work.   Simply observing my physician (back from medical leave) I find it wonderful to have him as my 'side-kick' each day.  He is so personable, intelligent and a wonderful teacher to the patients (and me).  I feel like my head is growing by the day with the knowledge that's pouring in.  I want to keep going-- I am motivated to learn right now.  I find it to be a challenge for me in this semester ahead; these two courses.  I want to add yet another course on, but a couple of my friends are telling me to hold my horses until I am a few more weeks into the semester as the stress could increase.  I and the boys have been relatively healthy, for that, I am thankful. 

I look forward to Spring.  I know that once it gets nice out or even a day full of sunshine could turn my positive opinions of school right off, but hoping that is only temporary.

Thinking a lot about some of my friends right now who are in tricky relationships or relationships that are struggling to survive.  It makes me sad.  It also makes me fear what is happening to "love?"  It feels to me that love in the world is really having a difficult time surviving even the simplest things.   The devil has crept his way into the hearts of so many.... I want my children to have a strong knowledge and belief in Jesus so that He is in their hearts should they ever question faith, love or hope.

Today was a rambling sort of day.  For that, I apologize.  Just had to get out the words. 

Contemplating (above everything else) how I can make the boy's bedroom and play room a little more 'fun.'

Stay warm.

Pre-School & PRE-School

I was talking with Nathaniel's teacher about a week ago and my eyes almost bugged out of my head when she said,.... "Nathaniel should be getting his Pre-School 4K Packet in the next few weeks."  

WHAT???   My baby is going to be in 4K??   Pre-Kindergarten?  Pre-SCHOOL?  Holy Moses!  I am SO excited for him!   He will absolutely love learning.  I can't wait for him to get going next fall.   Of course it's a transition that may impact our every day lives and routine, but bring it ON!   Can't believe he is getting so big! I have been trying to help him with starting reading and working with his Leap Pad more (that thing is amazing).   Numbers right now that he can recite are almost to 20, but somewhat out of order.  "1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 11, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20!"   I praise him no matter what, it's pretty great that he can remember all of that in his little brain.

PRE-School:  Spring Semester starts for me next Monday.  I am taking two courses.  One will be my first "online" Internet course-Introduction to Psychology. I am nervous about having to motivate myself to get those assignments checked and updated frequently. I love Psychology and study it even when I don't need to, so I am hopeful for a good great grade.   The second course will be General Anatomy & Physiology for the Nursing Program.   I LOVED A & P when I was in the M.A. Program.   Lots of memorization and understanding of systems and theories. I will also have a laboratory class where I believe (based on the lecture notes I picked up) we will be dissecting a sheep brain and heart.  Yummy.  I have a sitter lined up for a couple of the nights that I know I will need to study or in class a little longer; and I have two 'back ups' in case that falls through.  Always need a Plan B and Plan C when children are involved.

Nerves are setting in.  I brought out my books and placed them on the kitchen counter.  LOTS of information in those books.  I read through the syllabus and I know I will have to stay extremely focused.  These two courses will be the most of a credit load until I am in the nursing program full time in about 2 years. I am nervous I will come down with Influenza,... the boys will break something and need surgery, my car will break,... anything.  You name it, I am paranoid it will jeopardize my schedule for completion and my goals.   I know it's pre-mature and I will know my timeline better when I finish my A & P course this semester, but I am estimating a graduation date from Nursing of May 19, 2016.   Here we go....