Tuesday, November 11, 2014

In God's Hands

With school behind me and the future ahead, I am in a holding pattern--circling the runway.  Waiting to land?  Waiting to take off?  Not sure.  Still circling.  Praying.  Resting.  Searching.  Dreaming.  (dreaming a lot actually--REAL dreams when I sleep; hasn't happened for a while!)  Reading excellent soul-filling and spirit reviving text.  Living every day in slow-motion as I anticipate my next steps and what/who/where lies ahead for me and the boys.  I feel like I am in a quiet, safe place with my boys right now.  There is a state of mind that bubbles up every 48 hours or so in which I become ridiculously restless, sad/angry/selfish and want to know the answer to everything.  I have to silence that with prayer and reflection and remember that this isn't my plan....as I accept it is His Plan.

In my human actions I can do all that I can to make every door open to myself that speaks to me, but knowing that it will be up to God to see I end up where He wants.  My verse, (Jeremiah 29:11) which I recognized of importance before the major trauma of my life occurred:  "For I know the plan I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  I always recognized that verse as one that spoke to me throughout my recent trials.  It wasn't until the past couple of weeks that I went back to this verse and read further.... Verse 12-14:  "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back from captivity."   These last few verses gave me chills as I read them out loud to myself as this was my goal in reading the Bible that particular day. I have felt locked away, desolate and solitary going through school.  I feel as though I didn't spend anywhere near the amount of time I wanted to in growing with God or teaching my boys His Gifts of mercy and forgiveness.  As I step forward I feel confident He lives with me and will continue to lead me where I can be close and serve Him.  "Because He Lives."

So, to share what has been happening in our little lives over the past two months, here are some photos.  Enjoy! 

Carson had a field trip that I chaperoned. 
Seventeen 3 year-olds.... Heaven help us!!

Mr. C turned FOUR!

 Nathaniel had a class field trip that I chaperoned! 
Lots of fun! 

Fun on the bus after a rainy, cold morning.

I fall more and more in love with these turkeys every day.

My little helper in the mornings (I love that he ASKS to help vacuum now).

Trick or Treat Downtown: C was TERRIFIED of his brother the whole time.
(Their dad kept them a comfortable distance apart).

 Once they are asleep I tip-toe to find them in the same bed, snuggled and snoring. 
I have a tendency to stare at them...for many, many minutes. Can't get enough-so perfect!

Each day I walk on the treadmill, this little guy insists on feeling the tread (I keep telling him his little fingers are going to get a burn. He is such a weirdo)!

Mr. N not only made it to 100 Books but also acquired Pink Eye!  WAY TO GO Buddy! ;0)

With that being said, I also have pink eye and Carson has strep throat (confirmed today at the docs), which he is on antibiotics for.  Such is life.  Hoping to clear this house of the bugs and then do some serious disinfection before the holidays come.  We had our first snowfall two nights ago and received about four inches in town.  Other cities to the north of us received over a foot of snow!  Excited for Thanksgiving, St. Nicholas' Visit, Christmas and New Years.  Always a fun time of the year with the kiddos!  

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