I have gotten caught up in the daily grind again and my blog fell by the wayside. In the great scheme of things this little memoir doesn't equate to much and it releases only snibbets of my life and what I want you to know. Regardless, I try my best to make it honest, emotion-filled and memorable if not only for my own sanity but also for my children if they every choose to read it. I want my boys to know it is acceptable to share their hopes, wishes and dreams and to give a voice to themselves while they grow in this world.
My dad is doing GREAT! He recently finished his sixth round of chemotherapy. He still has some residual peripheral neuropathy and aches from where the tumors were in his body, but for the most part he is doing better than most would. He is walking two miles a day at the Y....Go DAD! I am so proud of him and how he has handled his cancer.... 'Handling' cancer is a statement that should never be made, but unfortunately, it is a statement that more and more of us are having to make these days. Some days I feel as though there IS a cure and that the damn pharmaceutical companies are choosing not to share it with us because they don't want to be out of business! Maybe I am bitter? Maybe I know too much about medicine? Maybe I am selfish in wanting to have my dad with me forever? Maybe I am naive and know NOTHING about medicine? Some day the truth will come, I only hope it is in my lifetime as I see way too many negatives come from a diagnosis of cancer. Lately the word, its presence and grip on my life has been all encompassing. Work. Home. Schoolmates. Friends. Moms. Dads. Children. Papas and Nanas. Healthy. Unhealthy. NO ONE is immune. His most recent PET Scan was 'clear' and the chemotherapy has been doing it's job of complete eradication. His next scan is Mid-December... Please pray it continues to show nothing and his cancer is considered to be in remission. I want nothing more than a healthy body for him. In other news, my mom has Lyme's Disease and is on antibiotics for that... If it's not one thing, it is the other. I pray she responds well to those medications and her level of fatigue decreases and she gets her energy back. We have a lot to look forward to as the years go on and I want them by my side for it all. They may live far away from me, but I feel closer to them now more so than I ever have.
My work-life balance is truly wonky right now. My most recent schedule has not been ideal for my family (as I am working when the boys are scheduled to be with me) and SO many accommodations have had to be made so I can still have my time with them. Switching days, having sitters come early/stay late. Jason helping me uncountable times. Meals being made by neighbors. Laundry being folded by grandparents; I can't be a MOMMY! It drives me nuts and I am about fed up with it and my day time schedule of sleeping. My manager was recently let go of her position as they are 'downsizing' at our facility and making major leadership changes. The medical community in which I live is in a major transition right now and it has added oodles of stress to those of us who work in it. I feel as though I am going through yet another 'divorce.' (This time I am the child stuck in the middle). I could compare it to being in an inflatable dinghy (without paddles) during a Category 5 Hurricane; I look forward to calm waters.
The boys are doing AMAZING in school this year. Nathaniel is ROCKING in his school shoes. His reading is improving daily, he is doing well with his math facts and now has spelling tests every week. The kid has been amazing his momma every day and I love doing homework with him. C-Diddle (my Pre-K'er) enjoys his routine and is having fun learning about upper case letters. He is showing me daily how smart he is by writing out his name, counting to 30 and above and showing me how much he loves to help around the house. I am so in love with these two, I just want to snuggle them all day when they are home. Unfortunately they are more interested in Nerf Gun Wars, Pokemon and Football Cards, and playing 'Army guys.' They recently began Tae Kwon Do and I see a lot of confidence and esteem eminating from the boys, it has been wonderful to witness. The Sensi has been teaching them respect, skills, etiquette and mastery of the art. I am so thankful to have them learn from such a strong-willed guy who wants nothing but the best for them.
In MY personal life (oh yeah, there is me too!) I recently have gotten a new buddy. His name is "Scamp." He is a 12 year-old who was at the Humane Society that I volunteer at. He had been there since April and he needed someone who could love him into retirement. I was the one for the job as I took him outside for a walk and fell in love with him. He is a little bit thicker than Boomer and I believe he has some arthritis and some tumors (see what I mean?) but I don't mind it. He is playful and the dominate one in regards to Boomer but Boomer does well with him. When we are outside Scamp likes to explore still and I need to keep him on a tight leash (literally) as he has already ran through the entire neighborhood when I let him out of the car a couple of times. He just needs to learn his boundaries and then I think we will be good.
I recently got the shed I had on my 'Wish List' in my backyard. Jason build it for me. He is SO skilled at building and creating. He is an amazing man that is motivated to complete things with skill and expert craftsmanship. I fall in love with him more and more each day. He gives so much of himself to the boys and I and I haven't ever felt this lucky to have someone like him in my life.
That's it for now, I am sure it will be a few more months until I am back here, but I just wanted to communicate what is happening 'now.'
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